Not all exorcists are created equal- especially those that are “marked”.
When defrocked ex-priest, Jimmy Holiday, agrees to help an old friend’s sick daughter, Lucy, he unearths unexpected horrors. Blackmoor, his friend’s new residence, has a dark history that makes it appear almost alive. Jimmy must decide if Lucy is only ill, or if the haunting of the house and her apparent possession are real.
After the house begins affecting him as well; seeing colors of magic and his voice taking on an unusual power, Jimmy discovers that he is apparently “marked”. Whatever being “marked” means, Jimmy doesn’t care. He wants to help Lucy. Helping Lucy means performing the exorcism.
Jimmy knows the ceremony, but it’s belief that matters. And if a demon is using a little girl as a meatsuit, his faith had better be strong enough to kick it back to Hell. Otherwise, he might damn them both.
How to be an Exorcist in Three Easy Lessons by Jimmy Holiday
I don’t proclaim to be an expert on any of this. In fact, I consider myself somewhat of an idiot. I just have this… I don’t know what you’d want to call it. Desire to save people, maybe?
I’ve seen stuff I wish I hadn’t by now, but since the other side is aware of me, well, it’s not like I can just quit. So, I figured I might as well talk about how to do this the right way instead of the way I’ve been doing it.
One: Get a degree in psychology or psychiatry. There are a lot of mental disorders that can seem like possession, but aren’t. You can’t rely on a “creepy” feeling. A psychotic is creepy as hell.
Two: Become a priest, or if female, talk to your local priest about wanting to volunteer for the diocese’s exorcist. It is kind of hard to break in that way, but keep trying. If you are working toward becoming a priest, mention your desire to go to Rome to study at the school for exorcism.
Three: Be prepared to lose everything. You have no control over what happens with a demon. A real demon is serious business, and yes, you or your possessee may get severely injured or die.
I might be a total goofball, but don’t make the mistake of thinking all of this is a joke because it’s not. In fact, you’d be better not following my advice at all. Avoid the whole thing.
Danielle DeVor spent her early years fantasizing about vampires and watching “Salem’s Lot” way too many times. After living briefly in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, she moved back to her hometown to write.
When not writing and reading about weird things, you will find her hanging out at the nearest coffee shop, enjoying a mocha frappuccino.
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LOL I love Jimmy’s rules to becoming an Exorcist! At least he got number two down.
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